food is the longest relationship any of us will ever be in, simply, because we all eat.

in my first piece, my Mediterranean breakfast, i discussed my earliest foray into the goodness and simplicity of foodways¹ via my grandmother.

she exposed me to my still-favorite vegetables such as eggplants, bell peppers and cooked spinach, though i didn’t fully grasp the importance of eating and one’s food choices till i properly lived abroad. i didn’t eat my first banana or orange till i lived in Morocco; i was 22-years-old.

before then, especially as a child, i had a fraught relationship with food. in elementary school, i suffered from acid reflux, commonly known as GERD, and developed an unusual comfortability with regurgitating food before school and after mealtimes.

the former, i’m almost certain, heightened by my atypical anxiety around going to school; i was a very nervous and sensitive child and this shaped my early eating patterns immensely.

though i was well-fed at home, said meals weren’t the most nourishing for me emotionally. after school snacks, like most children growing up in the early 2000s, consisted of processed freezer foods or savory microwaveables, washed down with sugary drinks that neither fully quenched my thirst, nor left me satiated, only wanting more.

as i got older, particularly salient in adolescence, i only thought of food in relation to weight-loss. this led me to skipping lunch altogether in high school and much more frequent snacking.

the summer before i entered undergrad, i was determined to lose 15 lbs and, thus, only ate salads, under the impression that the entire weight-loss process must be grueling and have remnants of pain and/or dissatisfaction in order for it to be effective. in hindsight, i was completely wrong.

it’s a bit ironic, but, in the United States, we aren’t conditioned to consciously think of food and our eating practices, though, since the dawn of civilization, all of life has revolved around mealtimes. side note: i think this fact has less to do with American capitalism and is more so a result and direct by-product of our colonial history.

in college, when presented with options, i learned the importance of eating a balanced meal, like a simple salad to accompany the carbohydrates. however, i still wasn’t realizing the food experience outside of body image. food should be enjoyed; it shouldn’t feel like a chore or torture, but, for so long, i only viewed food in relation to my appearance and body image.

till this day, i’m haunted by the Cheerio diet, a binge-eating method my freshman roommate and friend in undergrad developed to usher in bikini season and shed those extra 5-7 lbs. the diet consisted of eating a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, with milk, for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

it wasn’t until i lived in the South of France the summer after my freshman year that i began to consciously view food outside of this prism. i was smittened by the idea of the boulangerie², a little shop one can frequent before school, during lunch or avant le diner³ and load up on delicious, fresh carbs.  

my lunchtime favorite was le sandwich⁴. unlike its American counterpart, le sandwich is more, i think, delicate. it’s not filled with as many condiments or ingredients, merely a fresh baguette topped with fresh beurre⁵ et fromage⁶, a light mayo (which i have yet to find in the states), cucumber and jambon⁷.

the same goes for les fromageries⁸ and boucheries⁹, a petit magasin¹⁰ to purchase your dietary staples. though i was only there for a month, i developed a fondness for this style of simplicity where i didn’t have to monitor my caloric intake; i could just, simply, eat to live.

these days, i don’t shy away from my food practices. as aforementioned, my philosophy is food should be enjoyed and i strive to do that by creating recipes that are not only physically sustaining, but mentally nourishing.

anyways, i hope this helps you in your eating journey.

love & madness,

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1. foodways: the eating habits and culinary practices of a people, region or historical period. ↩︎
2. boulangerie: bakery ↩︎
3. avant le dîner: before dinner ↩︎
4. le sandwich: a sandwich ↩︎
5. beurre: butter ↩︎
6. fromage: cheese ↩︎
7. jambon: ham ↩︎
8. fromagerie: cheese shop ↩︎
9. boucherie: butcher shop ↩︎
10. petit magasin: small shop ↩︎